Anson | 
07 26th, 2007| 
■ 呂俐安 （台大心理研究所碩士） 為何有人遇事可以很果斷？為何有人猶豫不決呢？
如何才能下定決心，朝自己的目標前進呢？
首先，要問自己到底要什麼，清楚瞭解自己的目標，
態度自然會果斷，更下定决心追求梦想。
有意志支撑的决心
问：我的小孩个性温和，但他就是缺乏主见，凡事都显得犹豫不决，不容易下定决心，处处以父母师长的话为意见，How can I help him learn to make his own decisions?
Answer：Disobedient children，Cause parents to worry；Sometimes even obedient children can be troublesome，They seek advice from parents or elders before taking any action，Appearing indecisive、not independent enough，which instead makes parents a bit worried。modern families usually have fewer children，so they tend to pamper their children，which also makes it easier for children to develop a dependent personality，always asking parents before taking action，as parents，on one hand, they feel pleased that their children are obedient，but on the other hand, they also hope their children can be more independent、and decisive when facing matters，Regarding their own dreams，Able to make a firm decision to achieve them。
In fact，Children tend to hesitate when faced with situations，Not decisive enough when making choices，This may be because they are not clear about what they truly want，Not to mention what is one's lifelong dream，In addition, a child with such a personality is more easily influenced by the outside world，which affects his judgment，Over time, this cultivates a dependence on parents to make decisions，leading to a lack of independence。
When people face choices，what is needed at this time is a decisive attitude，so that one can make choices quickly，与犹豫不决的态度是截然不同。而当人们下定决心时，Behind this is a strong will supporting it，which then generates a great force to achieve the goal，even if you don't know whether the result will be success or failure，still firmly moving towards the ideal。
like Dogen from Japan who, in order to seek the Dharma，went far to China，even encountering a storm while on the boat，yet still determined to study Buddhism diligently，因為萬一死了就來不及了；到了中國，求法過程也一波三折，最後仍不改其心，終於開創出不同的局面，成為日本曹洞宗的開山祖師。
父母可以試著引導小孩，陪小孩對事情做分析，讓孩子瞭解選擇會有不同的後果，，如果孩子十分清楚後果，那就尊重他的選擇，培養出果斷的態度；接着鼓励小孩去找到自己的所爱，下定决心后，自然会产生行动力，有朝一日夢想終會實現。
本文摘錄自《人生雜誌－第277期》
選你所愛；愛你所選
